The Raccoons On Ice: My Version
by Joel-Robert-Dayton
Summary: My version of The Raccoons On Ice


The Raccoons on Ice: My Version

**Disclaimer, I don't own The Raccoons.**

** Bob and Dottie are my characters.**

Somewhere a long ways off and just over the horizon lays the Evergreen forest. Here you can see the morning's twilight, where the mist is so thick you can almost touch it. But watch. The sun is rising and chasing away the mist and the night stars and the Evergreen forest lake is frozen over like a giant ice cube. It is here that the forest animals like best to play. Even the humans love the ice. Why Julie and Tommy skate almost every day, but the raccoons are here the most, usually playing hockey. I'm certain they can't imagine anyone or anything would ever take the lake away, but at that very moment there is someone plotting to stop their fun forever.

Cyril Sneer was watching from the shore. He threw his cigar into the snow and laughed maniacally.

Tommy, Julie and Schaeffer had returned home and just finished building a snow fort. Ranger Dan came out. "Hey anybody want some hot cocoa?"

"With marshmallows?" Tommy asked hopefully.

"Of course," said Dan.

"Okay," said Tommy.

"Oh yummy," said Julie.

They ran inside. Julie noticed Schaeffer was still in the snow fort. "Schaeffer, don't you want to come in?" she asked.

Schaeffer shook his head no.

"Okay Schaeffer," said Dan. "But don't stay out to long." He closed the door and Schaeffer ran off to play.

Schaeffer romped through the snow and sung from trees and icicles. Finally he reached the lake and slipped. He spun around a few times. When he stopped, he spotted something. He smiled and looked up. "Your puck Cedric?"

Cedric was wearing skates along with a New York Islanders hockey uniform and helmet. He also had a hockey stick. "Thanks Schaeffer. Hey you wouldn't want to watch some of my moves would you?"

Schaeffer stood up. "How about tomorrow?"

"Gee thanks," said Cedric. He skated around Schaeffer. "See you Schaeffer."

"Bye," he answered and continued on across the lake. He suddenly spotted another aardvark. She too was wearing skates and a figure skating outfit. Schaeffer couldn't help being impressed with her skill. "Oh that's great."

"Oh," she said. "I didn't know I had an audience."

Schaeffer smiled. "I'm Schaeffer," he said, extending his paw.

The girl smiled back and shook his paw. "I'm Sophia Tutu," she answered.

"You've sure got a way with those glidey things Sophia."

"Swan glides," said Sophia. She did a curtsy. "Thanks Schaeffer."

"SCHAEFFER. COME AND BE OUR GOALIE." Schaeffer instantly recognized the voice of his friend Bert. "NO ONE CAN STOP ME."

"Oh boy," said Schaeffer. "Well Sophia, see you soon."

"Bye," she said. "Nice meeting you."

"You too," Schaeffer waved back.

Schaeffer headed over to his friends.

"Hi Schaeffer," said Mellissa.

"Good to see you," said Ralph.

"How are you?" asked Dottie.

"I'm fine," he answered. "How are all of you? It's been a while."

"We're fine too, thanks," said Bob.

"Good to hear," said Schaeffer. "So you need a goalie. I'll give it a try, but I'm a little out of practice," he added bashfully.

"Ah excuses, excuses," said Bert. "I'm just too good. What a whiz." He skated to the middle of the rink. "All right Ralph. Pass the puck."

Ralph passed it and Bert took a shot. It hit a snow bank. Bert tripped. "Did, did I score?" he asked."

"Missed," said Mellissa. "By a whole mile."

"Ha," said Bert. "You were lucky this time. But next time POW. Just call me Boom-Boom Bert. The greatest player, on the greatest lake."

What none of them knew was that Cyril Sneer had taken pictures of the lake and was showing them to his executives.

"This is where we build our own super dome. It'll extend over the whole lake. The fabulous fur forum. The Cyril Dome."

The executives applauded. Cyril held up his hands for quiet. "Lights."

He pushed a button and a model of the Cyril Dome came down on the table. "Oh," the executives said in unison.

"Observe," said Cyril. "It'll be glorious. Steel. Bill boards. Concrete. Cement. And inside, our skating rinks. We'll charge enormous admission. We'll be skating in the big bucks." He jumped up on the table. The executive's cigar smoke was so thick you couldn't see Cyril's head. "Tomorrow we start construction and nothing will stand in our way. NOTHING." He laughed maniacally.

The executives did the same and banged their shoes on the table.

The next day dawned crisp and clear. The kind of day where it seems nothing can go wrong.

Cedric was practicing on the ice. "And the skating sensation Cedric Sneer gets the puck. He skates towards the goal. He swerves. He twists. He whoops." He falls.

As Cedric was getting up, someone bumped into him.

It was Sophia. "Oh. Clumsy me. Did I hurt you?"

"Oh no," groaned Cedric as he felt around for his glasses. "I'm okay. Are you?" He found his glasses and put them back on.

"I'm fine," Sophia answered. "My name's Sophia Tutu."

A feeling came over Cedric. He'd never felt this way about a girl before. "I'm CCCCedric Sneer," he answered nervously.

"Well Cedric," said Sophia. "I suppose I should get back to my swan glides." She continued to skate.

"Swan glides?" asked Cedric.

He watched her skate and realized he was in love. She was pretty and very friendly. He couldn't help being impressed with her skill and captivated by her beauty.

"Sophia can I buy you a cup of hot choc, hot choc, hot chocolate?" Cedric asked even more nervously.

Sophia smiled. "Hot chocolate?" she said. "I'd love one."

They smiled lovingly at each other and skated together for a while. Meanwhile the raccoons and Schaeffer were enjoying a hockey game.

"Pass the puck," said Bert. He was about to take his shot.

Schaeffer got ready to save it.

Cedric and Sophia skated up. "Hi Schaeffer," called Sophia.

Schaeffer looked in their direction and waved. Bert took his shot and scored.

"DID YOU SEE THAT?" Bert shouted excitedly. "WHAT A SHOT." He lay on the ice and laughed excitedly. "I'M TERRIFIC. I'M A SUPERSTAR." He mopped his brow. "Whew. I'm worn out by my own brilliance."

The others just rolled their eyes and smiled.

There was suddenly a loud rumbling sound. Everyone looked up and saw a group of construction machines driving up to the shore.

"Cyril Sneer," said Ralph.

"What are you doing with all of those ugly machines?" asked Mellissa.

"Progress sweetie," answered Cyril. "Soon there'll be a colossal concrete complex right where you're standing." His dog Snag laughed and Cyril hit him on the head to shut him up. "It'll cover the whole lake."

"You can't build here," said Ralph. "This lake doesn't belong to you."

"That's right," said Schaeffer.

"Perhaps not technically," said Cyril. "But what real uses have you for this lake?"

"We skate and play hockey here all the time," answered Bert. "We're fantastic."

"We also ice fish here," said Bob.

"And we swim, fish and go boating here in the summer," added Dottie.

"Hockey?" Cyril said in disbelief. Snag laughed. "You? I don't believe it."

"You should've seen the goal I just scored," said Bert. "We can whip anyone."

That gave Cyril and idea. "Really?"

"You can't kick us off the ice," Mellissa said angrily. "It's unfair."

"Unfair?" said Cyril. "Me? Well just to show you what fair minded fellow I am, how about if one week from today, we have a hockey game right here? Your team against mine. Winner takes the lake. Deal?"

"You bet your bulldozers," said Bert.

"Bert," Dottie said sternly.

"Don't you know how bad of an idea that is?" asked Bob.

Cyril zipped down and shook Bert's hand.

"NO," shouted the others.

"It's too late now," said Cyril. "Bert and I have a bargain." He laughed maniacally and zipped off the ice.

Everybody glared at Bert, especially his parents.

"Hey uh," he said nervously. "Don't look at me like that. We'll save the lake. I mean how much can Cyril Sneer know about hockey?"

"CALL UP THE FARM TEAM," shouted Cyril. "SEND ME THE FIRST ROUND DRAFT CHOICES. SEND ME THE FREE AGENTS." Snag was laughing manically and Cyril kicked him away. "CALL UP THE LUMBER COMPANY. I WANT 10 DOZEN NEW SUPER STICKS. POLYGRAPHITE FILLED."

Poor Bert was ashamed of himself, because now he too was worried. He realized that maybe he wasn't really a hockey whiz. And Cyril Sneer seemed like a real dangerous opponent indeed.

The next day Cyril had organized a team of professionals. They began practicing at his private rink.

"RIGHT," he shouted. The team moved in speedy unison with each command. "LEFT. BACKWARDS. FOREWARDS. GEEZ. YOU GUYS ARE THE SLOWEST BUNCH OF DUMB JOCKS. A CHARIATRIC SNAIL COULD SKATE FASTER." Snag laughed.

Cyril Sneer ran a grueling training program. Day in and day out he trained his bears on the ice.

"YOU CALL THAT HITTING THE PUCK? WHEN I SAY HIT, I WANT SEE SPARKS FLY AND SWEAT. RIVERS OF SWEAT." He laughed manically.

The raccoons and Schaeffer also practiced. "Okay Bert pass it to me," said Ralph.

Bert tried, but he was so nervous it made it hard to concentrate. "Whoops," he said as he tripped and instead sent the puck flying into the trees, barely missing Schaeffer's head.

"Whoa," said Schaeffer as he ducked.

"Sorry Schaeffer," said Bert. "Oh I made a mess of everything," he added sadly.

Mellissa and Dottie skated over to comfort him. "You just got a little carried away with Cyril," said Mellissa.

"Don't give up hope," said Dottie. "All we can do is practice is do our best."

"Do you suppose any of us have fairy god mothers?" asked Bert.

Schaeffer suddenly spotted Cedric and Sophia. "Maybe there's someone just as good. Hey Cedric. Sophia."

They skated over to him.

"Say Cedric," said Schaeffer. "How would you like to play hockey on our team?"

Cedric dropped his stick. "You mean play in that game against my pop?" he asked nervously.

"We only ask because we know you like this lake," said Ralph. "And if your dad's team wins no more lake."

"No more hockey," said Bert.

"No more fishing," said Bob.

"No more swimming and boating," said Dottie.

"And no more fun," added Mellissa.

"But play against my pop," Cedric answered even more nervously.

"Oh Cedric do it," said Sophia. She smiled and hugged him. "I love a man in uniform. Won't you play on their team? Cedric? Sweetie?"

"Well okay," said Cedric. "But I can only practice when I can sneak away from pop."

Schaeffer smiled. "Thanks Cedric."

The others smiled enthusiastically.

"We'll be stars," said Bert.

"All right," said Ralph. "Let's practice."

Everyone took their positions and they began practicing.

Cedric got the puck and skated toward the goal. He took a shot and scored.

"Yay hooray for our team," said Sophia.

The others were impressed.

"Wow," said Ralph.

"Terrific," said Bert.

Cedric was better than anyone had imagined. And suddenly there seemed to be new hope for the lake and yet at that very moment, Cyril Sneer was dangerously near.

"Don't dawdle Snag. I want to spy on those raccoons and see just how pathetic they really are. He trudged closer. "We'll trample them. They'll be raccoon wrecks." Snag laughed manically.

"Pass the puck Cedric," said Ralph.

Cyril almost swallowed his cigar. He zipped down to Cedric and grabbed his nose.

"Pop," Cedric said nervously. "What a surprise."

"SHUT UP CEDRIC," shouted Cyril. "What are you doing here?"

"Gee pop. I was just about to get back to the books," answered Cedric. "You know rearrange those decimal points you talked about."

Cyril pressed his nose against Cedric's. "CEDRIC. Were you skating with these creatures?"

"Ha," said Bert. "Cedric's joined our team. Ha ha ha. Now we're going to beat you."

"Cedric," said Cyril in disbelief. "Tell me it's not true."

"Mr. Sneer," said Sophia. "You should be proud of Cedric. Why he's strong, talented, good looking."

"Who is this," demanded Cyril.

"Pop," said Cedric. "This is Sophia Tutu.

Snag came down and couldn't stop sliding across the ice.

"Look here Sofa girl," said Cyril.

"Sophia, Pop," Cedric corrected.

"Sofa, couch, davenport, no matter," said Cyril. "Stay away from my son." He poked Cedric's nose. "And no more hockey until my Cyril Dome is built and we're rid of this rotten rip raff forever." Snag slid passed again and Cyril stopped him by stepping on his nose. "Got that Cedric."

"Shh shh sure pop," said Cedric. Cyril grabbed him by the collar and dragged him away.

"I don't think I like Cedric's father," said Sophia.

"Hey," said Bert. "We're the good guys remember? So we're supposed to win. Right?"

Each day the raccoons and Schaeffer got up at dawn and skated until they were ready to drop and Bert, who had always been rather lazy, practiced the hardest of them all. Sophia wasn't into hockey, but she did help them with their skating. Her figure skating moves were coming in quite handy. And then it was the day before the game. Sophia brought hot chocolate.

"You're all getting so much better," she said. "Even you Bert."

Bert sighed sadly. "If only we had Cedric."

Sophia handed Bert his hot chocolate. "If only I could talk to him," she said. "I'm sure I could convince him."

"Then why don't we give it a try?" suggested Schaeffer.

"You mean go to the Sneer estate?" asked Mellissa.

"But couldn't that be dangerous?" asked Bert. "Iiit's not that I'm afraid or anything."

"Good," said Ralph. "Then we'll go as soon as it's dark."

Bert gulped and tried to be enthusiastic.

Bob and Dottie noticed the nervous look on their son's face.

"We have to try," said Dottie.

"Yeah," said Bob. "We need all the help we can get."

"Alright," said Bert. "But I still think it's going to be dangerous."

That night the gang arrived at the gates to the Sneer estate. Who could blame Bert for being scared of trespassing on Cyril Sneer's estate? They were all scared, but they couldn't turn back. They had to try and get through to Cedric.

Cedric's bedroom was hidden high in Sneer estate.

"SHUT UP SNAG," shouted Cyril.

As Schaeffer kept watch, the raccoons and Sophia climbed towards it. Cedric was asleep and dreaming about Sophia. "Sophia," he mumbled.

The gang had slipped through the window.

"Isn't he handsome?" asked Sophia. "Like a sleeping prince."

Cedric woke up. "Sophia?" He put on his glasses. "Sophia. What are you doing here?"

"We had to talk to you," she answered.

"But if pop finds you, he'll be crazed," said Cedric. "He might even use the dungeon. He always wanted to, but no one ever comes here. You've got to go."

"We will," said Sophia. "But first, tell us you'll play in the game tomorrow night."

"We could win with you," said Bert.

The others nodded in agreement.

"But pop wouldn't like it," protested Cedric. "Why I've already been grounded for a month and no chocolate pudding."

"Cedric, this is bigger than chocolate pudding," said Sophia.

They suddenly heard a noise. Bert, Ralph and Mellissa dove under the bed, while Sophia, Bob and Dottie zipped into the closet. Cedric lay back down and pretended to be asleep.

Cyril burst into the room. "CEDRIC."

"Pop," Cedric answered nervously. "Gee you didn't have to come tuck me in."

"Who's here?" demanded Cyril. "I heard voices."

"I, I guess I was talking in my sleep," answered Cedric.

"Well stop it," said Cyril. "I need my rest. Tomorrow night, right after I demolish those raccoons, construction starts on my Cyril dome."

Snag had followed Cyril and was sniffing around. He suddenly found the raccoons under the bed and growled at them.

Cyril stepped on him. "SHUT UP SNAG. I'LL BE ROLLING IN THE MEGA BUCKS. AND BE RID OF THOSE RACCOONS"

Snag stood up and growled some more. "STOP IT SNAG," shouted Cyril as he kicked him away. "AND IF I EVER CATCH YOU AROUND THEM AGAIN, I'LL WRAP A HOCKEY STICK AROUND YOUR NECK." He blew a puff of smoke in Cedric's face. "YOU GOT THAT?"

"Uh shhsure pop," answered Cedric.

Cyril kicked Snag out of the room and slammed the door as he left.

"We need your help," said Mellissa.

"Cedric please," said Ralph.

"We could've been stars," said Bert.

"And kept the lake," said Bob.

"And still have a place to skate and play hockey," said Dottie.

Sophia hurried over to the night stand and grabbed the picture of herself she had given to Cedric. "Cedric Sneer your heart's as cold and hard as a hockey puck." She began to cry.

The gang left and Cedric found himself crying too.

It was now just a few hours until the game. The lake was very still.

"I really like this lake," said Bert.

"Yeah," said Ralph. "We've had some good times on this lake."

"Think we can win Schaeffer?" asked Mellissa.

"Of course we can win," interrupted Bert. "We'll clobber them."

"That's right Bert," Sophia said enthusiastically.

Dottie chuckled. "You're probably right Bert. We have been practicing hard after all."

"And having a positive attitude gives us a better chance," said Bob.

As the 7 animals stared out across the lake, they each wondered if this was the last time they'd ever see it as the beautiful unspoiled place they loved.

It was midnight, the darkest night of the year. Now it was time for the game.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen this is Burnham Field digger. Tonight's game comes to you live from the Evergreen forest and it is indeed a crucial game in which the Evergreen Raccoons meet Cyril's Bears." He noticed the bears heading out onto the ice. "And don't they look like a brutish bunch?"

Cyril grabbed the microphone. "You'd better believe it. And there'd better be a doctor in the house." He laughed maniacally.

Burnham laughed nervously. "And now let's go to center ice for the opening faceoff."

The referee blew his whistle. "GO GET THEM," shouted Cyril.

"Ralph's got the puck, oh a tremendous check."

The bear skated away. "He passes. The bear passes Mellissa." The bear skidded to a halt spraying ice on Schaeffer. "He stops in front of Schaeffer." The bear took his shot. "He scores. The bears lead one to nothing."

Cyril laughed excitedly.

"Oh no," said Sophia.

"Here comes Ralph zigzagging. He passes to Bert. Bert skates up"

"Look out Bert," said Mellissa. 2 bears sandwiched him and stole the puck. "Devastating hit. He winds up. He scores. What a blistering shot. And it's 2 to nothing bears." Cyril laughed excitedly. "The lake looks lost forever. The raccoons seem helpless against this hockey machine." One of the bears stopped Bert, who had the puck. Bert kept trying to skate.

"Pass it to me," called Bob.

Before Bert could try the bear let him go and Bert tripped and went down hard. "He could be hurt."

One of the bears checked Schaeffer. "And Schaeffer is knocked out-he scores. And there's an injured raccoon.

Bert held his throbbing paw and groaned. "Are you okay sweetheart?" asked Dottie.

"Your paw is swelling up," said Ralph.

"You're sitting out the rest of the game," said Mellissa.

"NO," said Bert.

"Yes," Ralph.

"It'll only get worse if you keep playing," said Bob. "Come on son. Let's get you off the ice."

"All we got is one period left to save our lake," argued Bert.

The raccoons were in desperate trouble, but maybe, just maybe there was still a chance.

Cyril wasn't pleased. "How come you hurt their worst player? I told you to go for the top. Take out the goalie and that Ralph Raccoon. I want to see more of that sense of unfair play. I want to see Raccoon fur fly."

"Cedric," said Sophia.

"Shh," he hissed. "Pop will go berserk. You may have noticed he's not especially nice. Even normally."

"You're our only hope," said Sophia.

"It's too late," Cedric mumble sadly.

"Then it's too late for us too," said Sophia. After the game's over, our lake will be ruined and we'll never see each other again."

"No," said Cedric. "If only there was some way pop couldn't see me on the ice."

Sophia smiled. "Then you'd do it?"

"Yes," he answered.

"Oh Cedric," Sophia answered excitedly. "Well find a way." She hugged and kissed him, making him blush.

Cedric put on a toque and wrapped a scarf around his face.

"I don't know," said Schaeffer. "Something's missing."

"Bert," said Mellissa. "Give Cedric your sweater."

"Thanks Bert," said Cedric as they exchanged sweaters.

"Hey," said Bert. "We should do this more often."

"Hey," said Mellissa. "That'll do the trick."

"Good luck," said Bert.

The gang returned to the ice. "The second period is under way; the puck is taken by, who is that? He shoots. He scores."

"YAHOO," shouted Bert.

"What an incredible shot," said Burnham.

"WHAT IN BLUE BLAZES?" shouted Cyril. "Who is that?"

"And the raccoons are on the scoreboard." Cedric won the faceoff. "It's that mystery player again. He's going through the entire team. Going right in on the goal. He shoots. He scores."

"Yay," said Sophia. She accidently poked Cyril with her pompom.

Cyril shoved the pompom away. "Get that guy and get him good. TURN HIM INTO A DOORMAT."

"And it's now 3 2. Here we go again. He's strait up center ice. He's going through the defence."

"YOU DUMB JOCKS," shouted Cyril. "YOU COULDN'T EVEN TRIFLE GOLDYLOCKS."

"A wicked backhand," said Burnham. "He scores. And it's a tie game."

Ralph and Mellissa hugged each other, as did Bob and Dottie.

"Incredible. Unbelievable. What a comeback. What a player."

Cyril tripped Cedric. Cedric's toque and scarf fell off. "GOT YOU," shouted Cyril. He laughed manically. "Cedric? Cedric Sneer? My son? My ex son. CEDRIC SNEER."

Cedric was sweating bullets. "Hi pop," he answered nervously. "Surprised?"

"Surprised," said Cyril. "I'll show you surprised. After the game. The dungeon."

"The dungeon?" said Cedric. "Oh no," he said as Cyril kicked him into the stands.

"BRING OUT THE FRESH PLAYERS," shouted Cyril. "I WANT A WHOLE NEW SQUAD."

The gang was at a loss.

"Mr. Sneer's keeping his paws on Cedric," said Sophia. "He'll never get away."

"Without Cedric, we're finished," said Mellissa. "And I don't want any of you 4 to get hurt like Bert."

"I sure liked this lake," Schaeffer said sadly.

"We did put up a good fight," said Ralph. "That counts for something. Perhaps it is too dangerous to face those new bears. Maybe we should give up."

"Maybe we should," said Bob. "We practiced hard."

"And we've still got our memories," said Dottie.

"Give up?" said Bert. "We can't quit now. I won't quit now. We can still fight."

"Bert you can't play with that paw," said Sophia.

"That's right," said Dottie. "It's too risky."

"Way too risky," said Bob.

But there was no stopping Bert. "I can try," he said with determination. "I can't be much worse than I usually am." He grabbed his stick. "We may only have 2 more minutes to skate on this lake and I'm not going to waste it. All we have to do is score one measly goal." He stepped on the ice. "Maybe we can't do it, but maybe we can, all of us together. Couldn't we at least try? Come on guys."

The others looked at each other.

"Maybe we can do it," said Schaeffer.

The others smiled. "Maybe we can," said Ralph.

"Yes," said Sophia. "You can do it."

The gang followed Bert onto the ice. "Go Raccoons go," chanted Sophia. The crowd cheered.

"Wait," said Burnham. "They're going out there to give it one more try."

Cedric chanted along with Sophia.

Cyril couldn't believe it. "DESTROY THEM."

"Time is running out," said Burnham. "The bears win the faceoff. They're regrouping. They're charging down the ice. They're mowing down the raccoons. Only Schaeffer can stop them now. He shoots. Oh what a spectacular save."

Cedric moped his brow and breathed a sigh of relief.

"The puck's in the corner. Mellissa has it. She passes to Ralph. Ralph passes to Bob. Bob passes to Dottie. There are just 18 seconds to go. Dottie's cornered. Bert's in the clear." Dottie managed to pass to Bert, just before the bears pinned her and the others. Bert was on a breakaway.

"The goalie is after him. It's a race. Bert flips the puck. 5 seconds to go." Everyone gasped.

"4. 3. 2. 1. He scores. I don't believe it. The raccoons have won it."

"NO," shouted Cyril. He fainted.

"What a game. What an incredible finish."

"We did it?" asked Bert.

Schaeffer lifted him onto his shoulders. "Yep," he answered.

Bob and Dottie hugged and kissed and then they hugged and kissed their son.

"Way to go son," said Bob. "Great shot."

"We're so proud of you," said Dottie.

"We did it," said Bert. "WE DID IT."

Ralph and Mellissa hugged. "We really won," Mellissa said excitedly.

"Yippee," said Cedric. "Yay."

Sophia hugged him. "My hero." They kissed.

"I WON'T HAVE IT," shouted Cyril. "I DEMAND A REMATCH."

The gang skated around cheering. The lake was theirs to keep.

Dan, Schaeffer and the kids arrived the next morning.

"Wow," said Tommy. "Look at all these marks."

"They're everywhere," said Julie.

"Boy," said Dan. "Looks like someone's been skating up a storm. Have you 2 been playing any wild hockey games?"

Julie, Tommy and their dad never knew how close they came to losing the lake forever. But Schaeffer knew. Just as he knew the lake was now safe, because he and 7 other animals had discovered that by working together, as a team, you can do almost anything.


End file.
